Fall frights and (cookie) monsters

I was in my captain’s quarters a few days ago and was awoken by some eerie sounds in the distance, my eyes fluttered, and I glanced out the porthole and saw nothing but dense fog. I stared at the hazy cloak in my half-awake/partially sleeping state and spotted opaque figures emerging from the waters and onto the land. This specter-spotting can only mean one thing, it’s FINALLY October! The best month of the year. This is a month where truly anything can happen, the veil that separates the waking world and the dead is at its thinnest. I for sure stole that from somewhere else, but it fits perfectly so we are going to use it. September was a truly difficult month for the Angus and its loyal crew, namely the captain. I lost a loved one, I lost a job and fought tooth and nail to hold my family up with the last of my strength. Don’t get me wrong, the captain has wells of strength when it comes to his family. Yes, I’m oscillating from first person and third person narrative, I know this and I’m not going to stop so just roll with me/captain Matt/the crew. I love and appreciate you all and I promise it won’t be too confusing. I was so happy to flip September’s page back to reveal glorious October and all its potential.

Check out Austin Pardun’s art! it’s INCREDIBLE!

Months back my parents decided to plan another family vacation. A couple years ago we did a massive road trip to celebrate my parent’s 50th anniversary. It was Griswold-esque to say the least, but one of the most memorable experiences of all our lives. One thing you need to know about the captain’s family is this; we endure and always choose memories over material. My parents are the living embodiment of “You can’t take it with you.” Mom is the dreamer and Dad Is the logical one, but there is nothing they love more than making memories with their boys and the new addition of my lovely wife (whom they love more than me). That all being said, they planned a trip to Iceland to see the Northern Lights. I’m always game for a wild trip and this one was slated for the third week of October. This means I still need to buy boots and waterproof pants for Iceland’s rainy season but ALSO plan October’s Halloween activities perfectly.

Every Halloween season I have high expectations and extensive plans; haunted houses, must-watch movies, costumes, Salem visits, pumpkin carvings, spooky tiki bars, parties and handing out candy. Last October we had our wonderful wedding, so some Halloween activities had to be pushed, but well worth it. No pumpkins were carved but I married my best friend and spent All Hallows Eve at Disneyland, so it’s impossible to complain. This year we have the McAskill (Griswold) family trip for a whole week during Halloween season, this isn’t a complaint. For a goofball who is semi-unemployed at the moment, I almost feel undeserving for a trip but that’s not going to stop me from going. Jobs and money come and go, moments are fleeting, and I have a feeling this trip will be a special one. But let’s get into the reason for the season!

After greeting the creatures lurking between worlds from the deck of the Angus whilst sipping my rum and coffee, I headed to the ship’s storage hold. In the deepest levels of the mighty Angus is a hallway lined with countless doors. As one ventures down this hallway the strong oak floorboards turn to black and white checkered linoleum and the doors transform into the shapes of Christmas trees, easter eggs, turkeys and the one I was searching for… a Jack O’ lantern. If you ever want to learn the history of Jack of the lantern, just buy me a drink and ask me. I love unfolding that one. I pulled out my skeleton key, slid it into the lock, turned gently and stepped into the pumpkin-shaped door. About an hour later I was on the top deck with countless boxes full of lights, headstones, brooms, carving kits, bones and candy bowls. But no candy corn, that vile candy isn’t allowed on my ship. Okay FINE, you can have SOME, just don’t offer me any. I’m a Reese’s cup, gummie anything, KitKat and fun sized snickers man myself. I’m not big on chocolate unless it’s paired with a friend, don’t judge.

It was time to decorate the Angus, the black sails swapped to orange with jolly and horrific Jack o’ lanterns emblazed on the thick canvas. I was so excited to hang skeletons, plant headstones and stretch spiderwebs, but I had to hand it off to my mighty and dedicated crew. Myself, I was shaking off the hangover of a musical festival that was fortunately on the shore not too far from our home port. Sound on Sound isn’t 100% my cup of tea but we get the pirate hookup and get to experience the festival with the VIP, a wonderful honor for scallywags like us. The highlights being Alanis Morrissette, Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats and the beachside pig roast. Once home the first mate and myself had a busy week to prep for. Once we made our way home and I checked the weekly forecast, I saw a rare opportunity. An October beach day! The water was a bitttttt chilly but refreshing. I also had a couple opportunists to golf whilst wearing shorts, Captain Matt took the first week of October to cling to the last flashes of summer. After those last dips the beach chairs and sunblock are stored for the season and it was time for Halloween month.

Last beach visit of the year! Yes, I trimmed the beard.

We hit the high seas, Angus was eager to make port in one of his favorite towns, Salem Massachusetts. The Angus loves to visit his buddy the Friendship which finds port in the old witch city. Britt, myself and the crewmate Ethan disembarked, leaving Angus and Friendship to discuss trade winds and proper mast maintenance. The first Thursday of every October is the Haunted Happenings parade to kick off the spookiest of months. The parade was buzzing this year, tons of great costumes, marching bands, decorated Jeeps for some reason and a handful of floats. I was also excited to see some fellow pirates walking the parade representing the legendary Salem Pirate Museum, which I’ll probably end up in one day (I hope)! After the parade (I did not get enough candy) we headed to get tacos and cocktail/mocktail or two.

The Halloween activities were limited last year because of the wedding and planning but still managed to pull off some gold. The wedding itself DID have The Ecto-1 and I demanded the “Monster Mash” was on the must play list for the DJ. THIS year we have another Griswold (McAskill) family trip, this time we are going international. This Sunday we are leaving for Iceland, yes, the folks who lost to the Mighty Ducks in the Junior Goodwill games, shout out to Coach Bombay and Russ Tyler’s knuckle puck. Since the crew is on a truncated Halloween schedule, we need to pick and choose the best experiences. The best of the best of Halloween experiences is Haunted Overload. I could write ten captain’s logs about how incredible Haunted Overload is, it’s the best haunted attraction in the county probably. Bitt and I were lucky enough to have our engagement photos there, not sure how I convinced her that was a good idea. A little sidetrack, our photographer set off a smoke bomb for some of our photos, what a GANGSTER! Haunted Overload is hand crafted by some of the best Halloween architects on the planet, the line is even unbelievable. The cast members destroyed me, the moment I stepped into the haunt, they got me. They actually got me in line twice and once while I was waiting for the bathroom. Inside the haunt they probably got me 15 more times, at one point I was legitimately frightened, which is insane. We made it to the end of the woods in one piece, thank god. We all skipped dinner so we decided for a second night in a row of tacos, can’t go wrong.

The fall activities rolled on! This time we had the legendary Topsfield Fair. There was a whole day before where we had to fill a dumpster at my grandparent’s house to get it ready to put on the market. That day was really exhausting and emotionally draining so I don’t want to get into that. Back to the friggin fair! The Topsfield Fair is famous for being the longest running agricultural fair in America (I think) and the home of the world’s biggest pumpkin every year. As the pumpkin king, this appeals to me, but this year’s pumpkin didn’t tip the scales to dethrone the last record-holder. When I was a kid, demanding to be on my dad’s shoulders to peer over all the fairgoers, my goal was the games. I was too afraid of the rides; the crazy food wasn’t the draw either. When I graduated to walking on my own, I would bring an empty backpack to the fair, thinking I would fill it with prizes. I can’t decide if that’s sad or funny, but I never had more than one tiny participation stuffed animal in that backpack. As a grown goofball man, the fair’s goals are weirdo trashy food, looking at a large pumpkin, riding the Pirate ship ride (duh), pet animals (this is Britt’s only goal) and look at the local oddballs who inhabit the fair. This year’s food orders were; big mac rice ball, German Fries (these are just flat fries and they are my absolute favorite), a pickle from my buddy’s farm stand, and a buffalo chicken eggroll. Normally the food order is larger and more insane, but it was too crowded and we just wanted to leave. We called it a night when we saw how long the line was for the mighty pirate ship ride. It broke the captain’s heart, but I’ll find my way back. Plus I have my own ship!

I’m trying not to be too long here, but this next seasonal activity was a lifetime dream, an out of body experience. My favorite place on earth is an arthouse theater in Boston (Brookline) called the Coolidge Corner Theater. The Coolidge has special screenings, and one came up that I could NOT miss; Little Shop of Horrors. I grew up watching this masterpiece; incredible cast, beautiful set design and nearly all practical effects. A nice 35mm print of this movie would be wonderful, but this was more, so much more. The director was in the building, the LEGENDARY Frank Oz. The word legendary is an absolute understatement, Frank has worked on some of the most incredible projects in all of entertainment. To name a few; Little Shop of Horrors, Star Wars (Yoda), The Muppets/Sesame Street (Fozzie, Ms. Piggy, Animal, Sam Eagle, Cookie monster, Bert, Grover) Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, The Score and What About Bob. There are SOOOOO many more credits in his unparalleled career but I’m already getting long-winded.

Frank Oz created fantastical worlds for children and young adults and directed classics for adults who didn’t know where they saw themselves in the real world. Frank was gracious enough to partake in a pre-planned Q&A that was wonderful, despite the bland questions posed and boring panel moderator (no offense if they read this). Despite all that, Frank presented the audience with filmmaking advice and first hand tales of working with Hollywood’s greats like Steve Martin, Bill Murray, John Candy, Robert De Niro, Marlon Brando and frickin’ Jim Henson. Frank asked the crowd who was a film student or filmmaker because the screening and lecture was in conjunction with the release of a filmmaking book Frank wrote the forward to. He asked film students and filmmakers to raise their hands before dishing out advice. I must admit, it hurt my pride to not be able to earnestly raise my hand for either, currently. I used to be both these things, now neither. This made me sad on my ride home because it’s the theme of this whole captain’s log, finding myself. Then when I had time to let it all sink in, I realized I could change it. So, I will. Not for him, but for me. Stayed tuned and keep smiling.